Have you ever wanted something so badly—and it didn’t work out?

Maybe you’ve been disappointed in a relationship, with work, or even with your kids. These events can come with surprise or even shock, and immediately we feel sadness, anger, or fear. The emotions are understandable. But many times, we misunderstand what to do in these experiences—so we mishandle ourselves or even those around us, which only makes matters worse.



However, I want to encourage you: don’t allow a disappointing moment to become a defining moment.

We all face disappointments. The key is to process those emotions—and yes, sometimes to process them with professional help—so you don’t become paralyzed by them.



Too often, we compartmentalize instead of process. When that happens, those emotions will resurface at different times in our lives, even years later. What you don’t deal with will still dictate you—sometimes subconsciously.



An event that was meant to be a comma can easily turn into a period—a permanent narrative in your life—when in truth, you can start a new chapter and begin again.



How Do You Know When It’s Become a Defining Moment?



You may notice life-shattering thoughts. You might catastrophize and treat the situation like it’s the end.

You may act impulsively or take risky behaviors. You may feel tempted to use substances or alcohol to cope.

The event may take up space in your mind, living rent-free. You may replay it over and over.

Sometimes we even busy ourselves with good things to distract from the discomfort of disappointment.



But when we lean on our own understanding—handling it our way—it can create strongholds that hold us back. Pride often disguises itself as pain. The biggest threat to your destiny is focusing so much on others being the problem that you miss your own power.



The point of power is always in the present moment—and in this moment, you can take ownership.



Jesus, Our Example



Jesus was perfect, yet He gave Himself up to the cross even while they mocked Him. Still, He took full ownership and said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”



He kept His heart pure until the very end—because His purpose was greater than His pain. His surrender gave us a new beginning in Him.



Instead of becoming like “them,” He stayed connected to His purpose. And now, we are called to do the same.



We are all models. Our kids, our peers, and those we influence are becoming us.

So ask yourself: what are they becoming?



We all mirror someone.

Have you become like those who hurt you or disappointed you?

Even those from your childhood—do you see traces of them in you?



If so, what are their lives like? Do they have healthy coping skills? Are they living in freedom?



Reflect:



What are your conversations like when you’re in pain?

Who do you talk to?

Does the venting lead anywhere, or does it fuel your anger?

Do your conversations push you toward growth—or keep you in the same loop?



The moment you decide to allow only who you are in Christ to define you—and choose to trust His plan—is the moment your reset begins.



For a powerful reminder of how storms often precede breakthroughs, I invite you to watch this short video:

Dry Season? Warfare Before the Miracle | What God Told My 8‑Year‑Old

https://youtu.be/LcacNqJHNyI





“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

—Jeremiah 29:11



There is certainty, confidence, and promise in that scripture—none of which disappoint.

The enemy’s tactic is to get you to focus on what went wrong, who walked away, or what failed.



I get it—many of us have been made promises that turned out empty. That’s disappointing.

But when we let that disappointment take up space in our hearts, we project it onto God.



God does not make promises He cannot keep.

He’s given you gifts and talents that will bring gain, profit, and impact—but first, you must heal from the grief.



Don’t allow a disappointing moment to become a defining moment.



A Prayer of Surrender



Lord, I acknowledge that I may have gone my own way or leaned on my own understanding because of what happened—because of who hurt me or how I viewed the event. But I surrender to You right now.



I pray for the grace to fully surrender and trust that You know what’s best.

Help me not to let fear get in the way of the direction You’d have me go.

I pray that You help me release defense mechanisms and walls I’ve built that have created rigidity.

May I come to know my real self through You.



In Jesus’ name,

​Amen.